Upon Returning

(23:16) Faith:	=)
(23:16) Faith:	when i first started the shaitaan used to tie me down with threads, then he used string and he realised what a failtoad he was and then started using ropes.frek. yesterday he bloody chained me. i didnt even hear my alarm!
(23:16)   Amir:	lol cn u wke me up wit u 4 fajr 2moro
(23:16) Faith:	sure thing-fajr starts from 6.50-7.30 ill wake you up at 7 is that okay?
(23:16)   Amir:	=D 7.15.
(23:16) Faith:	lol cause 15mins makes so much difference
(23:17)   Amir:	dude i wna fnish my dream.

____________

Salaam-zuh.

So I met a guy from Saudi yesterday, and astaghfurillah- I am going to sound judgemental...and you're probably going to shoot me down after this post, but hear it out to the end.

A lot of us probably have very high expectations from people from that region, but its just so heartbreaking to see so many muslims these days turn away from Islam when they are blessed with such freedom to worship. So you can probably guess where this is going.

I nearly cried when I heard he drank on a regular basis and more so when he told me that its very normal, and that people are a lot worse in Saudi- and no I'm not judging him, and I'll explain why in a second.

Most of us expect people from the region to be the most religious of our kind, and to see so many actually turn away from Islam is just heartbreaking. And I'm not judging them, because.

 I don't blame them.

Islam has been so drilled into their lives that they become either only constitutionally muslim, or just generally fed up of restriction. What I hate most thats often drilled into everyone, is the notion that Islam is restrictive.

I think it becomes restrictive when people go too OTT after interpreting an interpretation of an interpretation of a narration of a view of an apparent scholar, but when its clearly not stated in the Quran. The Quran is supposed to be complete. Its a life-manual which you choose to follow, and if you do not understand any one rule, you consult a 'teacher' to explain it from a dictionary somewhere. You don't consult the dictionary for an explanation of something that isn't present in the manual and then claim that it was necessary in order to continue this game of life.

If you're a non-muslim reading this, believe me, Islam is easy.

God would not have forgotten to mention something in the manual. The things that he has left out, shouldn't be of any relevance when determining who enters heaven and who doesn't

I just wish these poor people were given a chance to study their religion and the freedom to decide and appreciate Islam for themselves.

I just got off the phone after having the most beautiful religious conversation with someone. He was saying that although he was a born-muslim, by being brought up in a western country- he has somewhat chosen how he wanted to live his life, so in a sense-the guy's a revert.

The guy in the convo above, is the guy from Saudi. And SubhanAllah- he asked me to wake him up for Fajr. After all the turning away, I am so proud that he took a step, and had the intention to start praying in the morning. When someone was born Muslim, and got fed up of it somehow-and tries to return, verily he should be admired for having the courage to return.

Its sounds like the story in the Bible about the prodigal son doesn't it?

May Allah make it easy for him.

The Reply to the Best Friend

I'll always love you hun. No matter what.

This may have changed me spiritually, but as a character I haven't changed one bit. A lot of people have been telling me that I would- but to be quite honest with everyone, nothings changed and I doubt I ever will.

I won't start being obedient to my parents because I always have been. In fact, turning muslim is being anything but obedient to them.

Similarly with a lot of other principles, they are still pretty much the same. The best thing about being a revert is that you carry the most amazing values you were taught in your previous religion. I guess its different than being born into a religion, and ending up with comfort beliefs, as its not like you can admit that you've never questioned your religion, because who wants to?

The hardest thing ever is to question why you prefer to live in your comfort zone.

 Its the same with people who are addicted to drugs, and who've always found solace in them. One day they find themselves brave enough to overcome that addiction to enquire about their true purpose and develop a desire to find out about something new, different and undeniably risky-in being able to experience pain and sadness as well as real happiness, its the new thing called Life. And when they finally experience life, only then would they realise how much the drugs had limited them. Of course for the first time, they wouldn't enjoy experiencing pain and sadness, though after looking back in 20 years or so they would see the whole beauty in the whole experience and conclude it worthwhile.

It was really hard breaking from my comfort zone, even when I truly felt that something wasn't right somewhere. Even after months of losing debates after defending my religion, even when I saw the straightforwardness in Islam, and had agreed thoroughly with its origins, I would always fish for a reason to disbelieve, to remain in my comfort zone.

Above all else, I avoided questioning my own religion. The love in it was so embedded in me that it physically hurt to question it. I wondered why us Christians deem it okay to eat pork and claim to rely that St. Peter had been told to not deem unclean what God has made clean when God himself had instructed us clearly not to not only one, but several places. If we had followed Paul's strict instructions from the Bible, we should be wearing headscarves whilst praying (1 Corinthians 11), but most people just don't.

My mother had always taught me that it was okay to disregard teachings from the Old Testament, but shouldn't it be impossible to break free from something you're previously bound to?

Hence, I still don't disregard biblical teachings (not misinterpreted ones at least) now I'm Muslim and I don't condone the way Muslims insult it. Some fanatics even insult Jesus back where I come from. I've always loved Jesus, and I always will. The Bible may not be taken word for word as accurate, but they are still revelations that God has sent down. If you feel like insulting the bible then please do so for all the daif hadiths you've ever heard of.

I haven't felt much of a change in restriction now I'm Muslim. I've never been able to eat pork, I've always had to dressed modestly, and well yes. its pretty similar =)

But the best thing about being a revert, is that you see so much love and hope in something you know you've chosen. And you're grateful for the living belief that Allah had saved you-which most born-muslims forget, and it works as a reinforcement as you try not to dishonour him for fear you'll hurt and disappoint him when he so kindly placed his trust in you.

So whether you're a revert, or whether you were born Muslim, remember that Allah (SWT) has saved you and that he has placed his hope in you.

And for all of you still seeking, my prayers are with you- may Allah guide you, and you have my admiration for even seeking, for most prefer to remain lost.

Allahuakbar!

Identity

It'd be nice to say to you, "Hi. I'm Farah Adiva, Yasmin Balqis or Du'aa Alhena."

I wish. And you're probably thanking God I didn't have any of those atrocious combinations.

So hi, I'm Faith, a daughter of Islam from the children of Eve.

Or at least its nice introducing myself like that- especially after reading the story of Salman Al-Farsi.

Its not like Faith's what I was born with either. I chose Faith during my confirmation when i turned Catholic. I said my shahada at exactly 3.13am on the 15th of October.

How? I did it the modern way- through webcam with two friends and thats exactly what I told the sheikh and he deemed it valid. =)
---

(03:12) Tree:	okk readdddyyy?
(03:12) Faith:	okay
(03:12) Tree:	kk first u say and ill write it as u say it
(03:13) Tree:	Ash- hadu anna laa ilaaha illa Allah
(03:13) Faith:	yeap
(03:14) Tree:	Wa Ash-hadu anna Muhammad Rassul Allah
(03:14) Naomi:	yea do i need to type it out\?
(03:14) Tree:	yep tell her the meaninf
(03:14) Ezz:	I bare witness that there is no God But Allah, and i bare witness that prophet muhammad is his messenger
(03:15) Faith:	all this time ive never said the second bit before
(03:15) Tree:	say ittt
(03:15) Faith:	i did i meant
(03:15) Tree:	=D
(03:15) Ezz:	out loud
(03:15) Faith:	throughout
(03:15) Ezz:	ALLAHU AKBAR GOD IS GREAT
(03:15) Tree:	Allahu akbarrr! pap pap =D
(03:15) Faith:	pap pap?
(03:16) Tree:	gunshots in the air lol celebration

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So there you go. I've had my first muslim month-and-a-half. Its been amazing throughout I guess. Its been hard hiding it I guess, and sometimes I just break down-Oh wait. yes.

My best friends don't know. And neither does my family. Here's a picture of my family so you know never to break it out to em if you pass by em:

The family's fundamentalist Catholic. Bit extreme on it. Got cousins these days actually having priestly-ambitions. I will never understand it. No sex for a lifetime? I don't think so.

Astaghfurillah.

My ex-boyfriend himself wants to be a pastor now.

Christians normally don't welcome questions, and the ones who are lovely enough normally provide answers which invite a thousand more questions. Well, my family doesn't welcome questions.

-Mummy, why do we ring the bells when the host is being blessed?
--So that it creates a mood for prayer.
-But why should we have a mood for prayer when we can pray without it?
--This is exactly why you fail your exams. You have such little faith!!!!!!!!

It was a genuine conversation.

I don't plan to tell them. Well, at least not in the near future anyway. I am able to hide it only because I've gone to a uni at least 4 hours away from home, and even if they drove past me to see a brown girl in a scarf...
I'm guessing I won't be recognised, as I'm just another one of 'their' kind.

The muslim kind.